Where Are All My Relaxed Ladies?

Tuesday, March 18, 2014


Is it just me, or am I noticing less and less relaxed haired ladies i.e. on Hairlista.com, Instagram, etc. ?

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love both natural and relaxed hair; however, I noticed relaxed hair doesn't seem as prominent and not nearly as visible as natural hair.

My question is, does it seem as though the relaxed haired population is decreasing while the natural haired population is increasing? Do you feel pressured to convert because having natural hair is more widely acceptable now? Or will you remain relaxed? 

Let me know your thoughts. 


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78 comments

  1. I was one totally against jumping on the natural journey bandwagon, because I was head over heels for my thick luscious relaxed APL hair. But I suffered from alopecia aereta. I had two choices: having patches of hair varying in different lengths resulting in thin lack-luster hair OR same length all round. It was an obvious ultimatum so I decided to BC. No regrets... though I'm patiently waiting for oodles of growth so I can flat iron again

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  2. More people are going natural, but I also think that natural hair is more celebrated so you'll see more pages on IG for ex, dedicated to the curly girls. I love em both so it's all gravy! lol I don't feel pressured at all. I do plan to go the natural route at some point, but on my time.

    Abbi of BelowtheWaist

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  3. I have felt pressure to give up relaxers. But who cares I'm not going to listen to someone who doesn't know my life choices. I also don't care about all the argument that relaxers have so many chemicals when women wear makeup, color their hair and talk on cell phones---other things that have chemicals or have yet to be proven to be bad for you. People still mention that erroneous report that relaxers cause fibroids even though it has been debunked. But I guess people rather cling to anything to advance their cause instead of the truth.

    I have been able to maintain healthy and relaxed hair. I prefer to wear my hair straight and I'm not going to increase the level of heat on my head to achieve a result I get with relaxers. I like how relaxers are changing and incorporating oils which helps retains moisture such as Mizani Butter Blend. I follow some relaxed hair blogs including yours. I hope this natural vs relaxed hair debate goes away because people have no right to regulate another's choice. Also I think the debate takes away from discussions that we need to be having about the state of Black America and its descent into Blackistan.

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    1. Said it all, sis!
      Here in Brazil relax/straight hair is getting the status of a crime. I understand this is because these girls have been opressed, but now they're doing the same thing!
      I've been straigthening my hair over 12 years. I "cultived" it with informations and temperance, so it is and looks healty. It's true love, people!

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  4. I feel as if I am being pressured to go natural because a lot of my friends and family are doing it. Including my mother. A lot of bloggers who are relaxed are beginning to transition to natural and not even caring about all of the relaxed girls that looked up to them. Including me! I absolutely love natural hair, for other people but I will not do it because it just seems like a trend. I love my relaxed hair

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  5. I do believe that there has been an increase in the natural haired population...on the internet at least. There are a lot of people who are not on the internet, and most women I know are not naturals.

    I did not feel pressured to convert at all. It was actually liberating. The relaxing wasn't my biggest problem, but it was more so the reason I was doing it. Like so many girls, I grew up not liking my natural hair, so seeing all these women with their natural hair on Hairlista and Youtube helped me change the way I felt about my hair.

    I just started texlaxing, but this time around I'm not putting a relaxer on my hair because I'm embarrassed or feel uncomfortable with my natural hair.

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  6. Great great question! I'm relaxed and I'm struggling to find new youtube channel or blog on relaxed hair care. I also have a relaxed hair care page on facebook and I can feel the pressure very well, people are less active and some people reversed and become really intolerante. Most of the question that I'm having now is: "I'm transitionning how to manage my new growth...". Yes I really feel the pressure: people in my surounding are going back to natural, and it seems to be logic since relaxed hair gurus themself are going back to natura. What's really peas me off is when relaxed hair is related to racial topic...

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    1. I am currently transitioning but I feel myself about to go back to relaxers. I have 4c hair and it is very hard to manag. My last relaxer was Thanksgiving 2013. I have been watching "prettywitty77" on YouTube and she is relaxed with waist length hair. "ulovemegz" and "just grow already" are also two relaxed hair ladies on YouTube.

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    2. Alexis i know those 2 ladies. thanks :). I completely understand you I'm also having 4c hair or even 4d if it does exist! I'm really struggling to strech my relaxer. I think we need more 4c gurus to give suitable advice for us. Don't give up if this is what you want. I will suggest you to try a big chop since our hair texture has a VERY DIFFERENT texture that the relaxed one. Or at least do a very light texlax next time to reduce the difference between the hair textures. Good luck!

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  7. I'm natural, but every time I walk in Sally's the brands and sizes of relaxer containers are getting smaller, or on clearance, and we've hit a tipping point where you can purchase Mizani in the store. Yes, I would say the population is decreasing because those such as myself are no longer relaxing, and we're less inclined to relax our daughters, so the next gen relaxer users should be fewer.
    I also want to say, I don't feel the cosmetology industry has caught up with the trend, or at least enough of existing stylists have adapted to the movement. If you want anything other than a blow out/press and curl, braids, or sew in, they have no clue or want to be bothered.

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  8. *raises hands* I agree with this post, its seems like having relaxed hair comes with a lot of judgement. I'm enjoying my relaxed hair and cant wait till I'm at BSL.

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  9. I've noticed a difference. In fact amongst my friends I'm the only person who's remained relaxed. Every now and then I think about going naturale, but then I remember what I enjoy about my relaxed hair and how I'm closer to my hair goals than I've ever been! Glad I'm not the only person who's noticed!

    Courtnea of Finally Growing!

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  10. Yes I think natural hair is definitely more prominent on the web. I don't feel pressured because where I am (Nigeria), majority of women are relaxed and natural hair is still not well understood by a lot of people. However I just decided to transition to natural. I always knew I would but kept putting it off till I got waist length relaxed hair.
    naijagirlnextdoor.blogspot.com

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  11. I had texlaxed hair and am transitioning to natural. I didn't feel any pressure from the outside. It was more from the inside (me). My mom was relaxed most of her life and she noticed recently that she was losing hair in the middle of her head. I know it is genetic since her mom before her had the same issue. I am going natural to stave it off as much as I can.
    Plus I noticed my hair was thinning significantly even though I was only texlaxing once every 4-months. That was my queue that I have to change things up a bit.

    I do LOVE your hair though!

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  12. I am new to Hairlista so I can't really compare to before, but in general, yes, it seems like so many of the relaxed ladies are transitioning and going natural. I don't ever plan on going natural. I like the whole texlax thing and I'm glad bone straight isn't the ultimate achievement anymore because it's so hard on the hair, but unless there are medical reasons that keep me from getting a relaxer or all my hair falls out, I will remain relaxed. It's just best for ME.

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  13. Yes! There seems to be less relaxed ladies, on hairlista, in the blogosphere and on YouTube! And yes! I do feel pressure to convert! Natural hair is everywhere and I keep having moments of "why am I relaxing" or natural ladies watching me with judging eyes lol. I keep toying with the idea of going natural, but I haven't done it yet. Still relaxed for the moment.

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    1. i am natural and when i see relaxed or texlaxed ladies with beautiful healthy hair, i ask myself "why am i going through hell hanging onto my natural 4d hair?"...natural is hard for me to maintain, it just takes too much time. I dont even wear it out. It is always in a protective style. i am thinking of starting to texlax my hair.

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  14. We are still here! I'm relaxed myself and enjoy your blog.

    I think that natural hair is more widely acceptable and because of that people are more vocal about it and tend to talk about it more. People who have been relaxed all along don't tend to talk about relaxed hair as much, when everyone leaned more to "relaxer days" no one talked about it as much as people talk about natural hair now...hopefully that makes sense.

    Also, sometimes (not all the time), some with natural hair are not so diplomatic towards one who have relaxed hair. You'll get the "you still relax your hair?" and "hair is so much healthier when it's natural statements" amongst other statements. I've experienced that with several of my natural haired friends. Again, this is not all natural haired women but just some. I have to remember, that at the end of the day, it's all hair. No matter how you wear it-it still requires maintenance. Whether it's relaxed or natural doesn't guarantee that it will be healthier, it depends on how you take care of it and it does grow back!

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  15. I've always loved being relaxed. Today though I was a little discouraged looking at you tube. Everyone is "natural" or "transitioning" or "texlaxing". It usually doesn't bother me in general but as I watch to learn new techniques and get inspiration there's always the comments about how 'relaxed hair" is so weak and damaged and it's so much better with the thicker, healthier hair. My family is pro natural now also so there's no support there. I wasn't before but now I am feeling a little pressured in a sense. I feel almost ashamed for liking my relaxed hair. Like I should try texlaxing at least

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  16. Never say never regarding natural but I'm relaxed and loving it. What about you?

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  17. I think it might be because there are fewer relaxed hair bloggers and the ones that are around dont blogg frequently. You, MsKibibi and blessedtressed and others were bloggs I used to follow but you guys dont update very often these days.

    Also, a lot of relaxed hair bloggers, stop blogging about hair when they reach their hair goals and it seems like a lot of people have done that now.


    //Li

    I'm not blameing anybody just saying that might be a reason why the discussions and interest has decreased

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  18. I thought I was the only one realising that. I am relaxed, not thinking about being natural any time soon either, love my relaxed hair and working hard on my hj to get it to a longer healthier state. I live in Jamaica and relaxed hair is still going strong here, but im seeing more naturals especially younger women. I love the fact that as black women we can style our hair however we want and exercise versatility. I just don't like when naturals(nazi) bash you for the choice you choose to make and remain relaxed, most of them were also relaxed at some point. I say to each his own, we are free to wear our hair however we choose.

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  19. I thought it was just me who noticed this! I don't feel pressured to convert, remaining relaxed :) x

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  20. I am relaxed. I think it has to do with more awareness on how to maintain your natural hair. The amount of support groups and the increase in companies offer products catered to our natural hair texture has proved to be positive and making it more acceptable. I must admit that I have strongly been considering transitioning for a while but there is part of me that is still obsessed with bone straight hair. There is definitely an influx on naturals making it seem more prominent.

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  21. It does seem like everyone is running to the natural side of things. I relaxed my hair after over a decade natural(more if I'm truly honest) and don't regret it at all. Though it does seem that there are fewer and fewer relaxed heads to look at lately.

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  22. I don't particularly feel pressured... My sister went nappy and try to make me do the same thing but I just told her to mind her own business xD
    I actually LIKE having "straight" hair, I love the possibilities and never considered going back to natural hair.
    I LOVE my relaxed hair and even more now that I know how to take care of it properly!

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  23. I think it's just a phase or trend going on. Once a trend starts, it seems to spread like wildfire. I do not believe that hundreds/thousands of women suddenly discovered their natural hair. There is nothing wrong with natural hair, but people should transition for the right reason. Do not copy someone else. I will continue to relax/texlax my hair. Thanks for posting this question Sunshyne.

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  24. I must admit the pressure almost got to me but finally decided not to cause relaxed hair works for me.

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  25. Hi Sunshyne,
    I have noticed as well what appears to be a decrease in the relaxed hair population. After conversations about a year ago with a couple of friends that are natural, I think there's a stereo-type that relaxed hair can't be healthy & won't grow long. However, as you know from experience/research & I've discovered as well, that is far from the truth! About a year ago, I attempted to transition to natural b/c of the pressure from a couple of natural ladies I knew saying my hair would be healthier if I didn't have a relaxer. But that transition was short lived b/c it was not working me. My hair was breaking and becoming more & more damaged. I had a hard time styling and maintaining my hair during the process. I discovered damage hair can exist in both natural or relaxed hair. As for me, I will remain relaxed with continued stretching. I think it's important that the hair population, whether natural or relaxed, realize that we have to do what's best for our hair instead of making other ppl's opinion the deciding factor.
    Enjoy God’s blessings!

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  26. I love hair in both states when it's well cared for, but naturalistas seem to be more prominent on forums and the blogging/YouTube arenas than relaxed ladies.
    I'm not sure why that is. I blog about relaxed haircare and no ones personally pressured me to go natural, though I guess it happens to others. I've decided to remain relaxed at the present time as I personally don't want to go natural yet.
    I've always wondered why I haven't come across more relaxed haircare blogs considering there's so many natural haircare blogs x

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  27. I'm relaxed. There is definitely an increase in the number of naturals, but I still think there is at least an equal number (if not more) with relaxers. I think as with many other things these days, naturals just seem more prominent because of social media. Take my work place for example. Out of the 5 black women who work in my office, 4 are relaxed and 1 is natural. I think that actually is a pretty common ratio, it's just that naturals now have FB, Pintrest, Blogs, YouTube, etc, etc. to make themselves more visible. And they may even use social media tools even more than relaxed ladies because of the lack of resources for natural hair information outside of those arenas.

    I did consider going natural, but ultimately I wasn't willing to make the increased time commitment. I spend more than enough time on my relaxed hair so this is the easier route for me, for now.

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  28. I agree. I do believe that the relaxed hair population is decreasing. I'm a college student and most of the students here are natural. Most of the relaxed youtubers that I subscribe to have transitioned or are thinking about transitioning. I can hardly find hairstyles for relaxed hair online now. Almost everything on Pinterest is geared towards natural hair. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm happy that women are now embracing their natural texture. Sadly, it's hard to find inspiring women with long relaxed hair. I do sometimes feel the pressure to go natural since, all of my peers are natural. Although I haven't encountered any "verbal" natural hair nazi's, I can sense them judging me for having relaxed hair. Despite all of that, I will continue to relax my hair mainly because I know how to properly care for my relax. I know what is takes to achieve long relaxed hair and I can't wait to reach my goal. Also, I don't really like doing what everyone else is doing. I love doing my own thing. If everyone is returing natural, then I will stay relaxed. If people decide to relax again, I will return natural. I just don't like being like everyone else

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  29. I would not say I felt pressured to go natural, it was a personal choice for health reasons. I still feel whatever anyone decides to do with their hair should always remain a personal choice. I've been natural for 8 months now and love it! Would I go back to relaxers? Maybe, if I could but realistically I can't. My hair follicles were extremely damaged from the chemicals. They have healed but given that I will remain a naturalista. I have noticed when I go to Sally Beauty that the shelves for relaxer kits are getting smaller and smaller but the curly or natural hair care products are increasing. I often wonder if there were products for curly hair care and knowledge available back in the day, would anyone had ever relaxed. I feel the knowledge for caring for ethnic curly coils has increased which is helping ladies step out into natural hair care.

    Sunshyne, you were the FIRST blogger I found and continue to follow when I needed help caring for my hair. You set the standard for me to be encouraged to have healthy hair and scalp. I'm still encouraged by your amazing hair journey and your advice. I continue to take it to heart. Why else would I have contacted Luster's to get me some ORIGINAL S-Curl No Drip? (lol) I really did though. Anywho, keep doing what you're doing sis. Blessings! :o)

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  30. I agree. It feels like the relaxed haired population is decreasing. A lot of my favorite relaxed hair channels have gone natural. And whenever I google something about AA hair the links are for natural hair websites. I'm going to stay relaxed

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  31. I was hoping someone would blog about this honestly I've seen people who went natural where in my opinion they should have stayed relaxed. As for me I am staying relaxed because one it's my hair and it's what I can maintain. I really don't care for my natural texture and plus to me going natural takes time, creativity, and for course patience. I don't like walk around looking crazy either. So don't get me wrong I got love for my naturalistas but I'll stick to being relaxed.

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  32. We're still here! I still relax my hair every 3mos. (My hair is bsl now due to a scissor happy stylist.) I read your posts often to get tips and good product information that helps me keep my relaxed hair healthy. It does seem that more people are going natural and that's great. I have had friends try to pressure me to give up the "creamy crack", but I have no plans to convert.

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  33. ♥BlueandBlessed♥March 19, 2014 at 8:35 PM

    I've heard that there has been a decrease in Relaxer sales.

    Ideally, I think about going natural. Since I don't have Type-3 hair that scares me a little.
    So my best bet is to remain Texlaxed.

    Sunshyne- Do you ever think about going natural?

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  34. I noticed this as well and it doesn't really bother me. I will be damned to be pressured by anyone especially when I was natural in the late 90's and early 2000's. The same ladies that were relaxed then are natural now. No shade either do you ladies but I did that when no one else was. A lot girls back didn't understand it either and made fun of me. I have a lot of photo evidence of my natural hair journey too. Anyway my rant is done. I don't like to judge anyone's hair, everything is beautiful as long as it's healthy.

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  35. Great question! I think that there are still tons of relaxed ladies enjoying their relaxed hair, they're just not the predominant voices the long healthy hair conversation anymore.

    KLP | SavingOurStrands

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  36. I've noticed that natural hair is more and more in the light where it seems as relaxed hair is on the back burner. I was natural all of my adult life and BC'd in Nov 2013. I went natural because I was literally tired of relaxing my hair. I'm a woman of a "particular age"…lol and it was just time. I do have regrets at times because not only have I never had short hair before, but I find that my natural hair is much harder to deal with,,,but I'm going to ride this journey out. My hair is growing..its thick and healthy and I'm happy about my decision…

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  37. I will remain relaxed. I love my relaxed hair!

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  38. My hair is relaxed, and I feel that the relaxed hair population is decreasing because everyone around me and the majority of people are going natural. Sometimes i consider going natural, but at the end of the day I love my relaxed hair, so am sticking to relaxed hair.

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  39. Still here! I prefer my hair relaxed, I was natural from birth until around ages 19/20 so for me it is team relaxed for now.

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  40. I love my relaxed hair!

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  41. still here. no i dont feel pressure to convert because I'm not a crowd follower and I don't give in to peer pressure. im going to stay relaxed FOR YEARS to come. My hair is healthy, thick and long; no need to convert.

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  42. I'm relaxed/relaxed I have definitely noticed the decrease of relaxed hair ladies vs.natural I myself have even thought about returning to natural not necessarily because it's more acceptable now days but because there is way more information out there and I have never experienced my natural texture.

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  43. Im right here!!! :)...and I will remain relaxed. I love natural hairlistas(my mom is one), but I think it has become a fad(I hope it doesnt go anywhere bc I think its beautiful) and it is the "IT" thing right now, which the media and many companies are profiting off of.
    -Amber.Nicole-

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  44. Heeeeeeeere! I'm relaxed with hair approaching full waist length and I will remain relaxed. I do feel the pressure at times (most of my friends are natural) and some ladies actually think I'm natural because my hair is very thick especially when it's air dried. I really felt the pressure when I stretched my hair extra long during my first trimester of pregnancy and I actually entertained the thought of being natural but that was short lived because I know with the thickness of my hair, I couldn't maintain it. Maintaining my hair now is already a task! Natural is definitely on the rise and with the growth in "youtube stylists" I think the trend will continue to grow, I just can't. I love my hair as it is and I will continue to enjoy my braid outs, twist outs etc on my relaxed hair.

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  45. I get pressure within my family to jump on the natural bandwagon but I don't see myself going there. I would much rather deal with my hair relaxed so this current fad hasn't gotten to me.

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  46. I thought I was the only one that noticed. I've been relaxing my hair since I was 11 and I don't plan to stop anytime soon. Over the years Ive thought about going back to being natural because I love afros but I know I wont be able to manage it because I have thick 4c hair. I struggle with my new growth now. I am not good with hairstyles and my natural hair dries up really quick when left out for too long meaning I would have to stick with braids and cornrows which I don't want.

    Relaxed hair is best for me at the moment but there is a lot of pressure to be natural. Maybe in the future i will become natural but definitely not anytime soon.

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  47. What i think is great is when i see so many young (up to 18 yrs old) with natural hair. I think it is great to see these long long natural tresses. If you stay out of relaxers during your growing years you have at least protected your body from a lot of toxic.

    I also see that a lot of relaxed ladies try to create hairstyles that looks like they are natural. That is a sign of that the trendy hair right now is not bone straight. But fashion will come and go, myself I am relaxed with a mild relaxer :)

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  48. I have noticed too , I am relaxed and have no plans for going natural now. I miss reading blogs on relaxed hair , seeing pics of relaxed hair . All I see is natural hair. I dont sign into hairlista much these days , because the oldies with long relaxed hair , they don't ign on anymore or once in a blue moon. I miss the old hairlista . But I still love the site just wish their was more relaxed people on , more relaxed hair blogs, more relaxed hair videos. But I guess i cant have it all.

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  49. Before I started my hair journey I never really went on line looking for anything hair related, therefore, though I was relaxed I had never documented it, and never online. I believe more people who have switched to natural are more present online because they have most likely gone online (then getting profiles) looking for hair care tips as it is a different territory to what use to (relaxed hair). So it now appears as though there are more natural ladies out there. As long as you have good hair practices or not, it's really your own hair and you should not be answerable to anyone. Whatever doesn't like their fellow relaxed hair lady or natural hair lady should just move along than give negative comments. I saw a post from a natural girl gone relaxed, she was pretty much crucified online, so I think the pressure is really on.
    Am a proud relaxed hair lady, and if I was natural I would be a product natural.
    Relaxed ladies we are still here!

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  50. I am wondering if it has something to do with the hair length. Most of the women I have seen, not saying they're not out there, so far who are relaxed have very long lengths of hair. It could be that being relaxed with LONG hair is the trend . It seems that being relaxed, you have to prove that healthy, long hair is possible and to put up pics or announce you're relaxed with little to no hair may not grab the attention as long and healthy. I have converted back over to the relaxed side after 2 1/2 years post relaxer and being au naturale. I didn't feel pressured, I just couldn't invest the time and energy to maintenance it anymore. I have gained a lot of knowledge about hair once I went natural and look forward to applying this to my relaxed tresses. I am loving my new look and can do the exact same styles I did when I was natural.

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  51. There is a lot more naturals out there but its not just a natural hair trend its in all aspects of life. The world is loving this idea of "all natural" or "organic" things. I'm not sure what it started with but suddenly everyone is shopping at Whole Foods, checking the ingredients on all their products, television segments & articles about using essential oils for everything, & concocting their own homemade beauty supplies. When you walk into any store nowadays notice all the products with stickers stating "100%" "natural" & "organic" or even commercials now advertising their products' purity by having outdoor scenes of nature, you'd think its a commercial for Poland Springs but nope its for a shampoo. Its everywhere & it wasn't like that not long ago.

    I think girls having natural hair is just another way of embracing this idea. I find both natural & relaxed hair to be beautiful but personally I love my relaxed hair & will never convert because 1. the hairstyles I love would be impossible to do with my natural 4b hair & 2. I cannot take care of my natural hair. I have an extremely sensitive scalp so braids & combing that new growth would make me cry as a child; now it just activates my migraines. My new growth is so thick I wouldn't even classify it as 4b more like 5b lol #Relaxed4ever

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    1. Never looked at the growing acceptance and popularity of natural hair from that perspective, thanks for the different view point! ..true I check the ingredients on all my hair care and beauty supplies, shop at whole foods and blend or juice healthy mixes! lol

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  52. Yes it seems as if natural hair is taking over, because ppl are making it seem as if u can't have long thick healthy hair if u relax. But I'm not jumping on that bandwagon because of ppl like Sunshine that show me u can relax and still have beautiful hair!!! Thnx a mill!!!!!!

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  53. I think it's because there are so many options on how to care for afro-linked hair now, whether relaxed or natural. I think people are trying out natural now.

    Before the blogs/forums, etc, the 3-4b/c hairs got no help from stylists or their parents, it was relax or weave/wig or shave it all off. I swear, I am yet to meet an educated stylist in my area who knows the science behind retaining length, no matter your texture.
    Honestly, some people didn't have enough kinky curls to be even relaxed in the 1st place.

    There are still some pressures from: 1) depending on who your friends are. 2) Transitioning and natural ladies tend to be more vocal online, and drop subtle digs without realising it. There's always bound to be some smugness if you are not using chemicals just because ...that's human nature.

    Natural or relaxed, I think we can all retain length now and choose whichever...praise be!!!

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  54. Might be the unknown long term effects surrounding the harsh relaxer chemicals, now with more choice on how to care for natural, why not?
    Some people also frequently burn from relaxer

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  55. Hello Sunshyne,
    No, you're correct. I too have notice a decrease in permlista activity. I do want to share a thought: Many are deciding to go from perm to natural. My advice to anyone would be to do what works for you. For example: if you have always had a natural curly coil (under hairtype 4), chose to perm your hair to have straight hair or for easy maintenance, and then decide to"become one w/ your natural coil", then of course it w/d make sense to become a naturalista. However, if you have always had course hair (4 and up), and perming your hair was the best option to maintain it better, then being natural may not be the best option unless you opt for course natural hair and use wigs, hair pieces, etc to have the straight looks. My point is that even if going natural is better for hair, it may not be the best choice for everyone. I chose being a permlista because I have 4B type hair. Natural is not the best option for me because the perm helps me manage my course hair, and I prefer having long length. With the generosity of Sunshyne and other YT muses in sharing information on hair care, I have learned how to use products properly to satisfy my preference of having permed hair. So again, please do what is best for your preference and support that preference with by using products in the way that they work for you. I extend my congrats to both Naturalistas and Permlistas in achieving all of their hair goals.

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    1. I agree so much with you on that! Hair texture matters a lot in this case. People tend to judge too quickly I haven't seen a lot of 4c or 4d natural hair gurus. Most of them have a looser texture or more manageable texture. Wash n go doesn't work on our course hair. I've watched one 4b lady who make a tutorial on how she achieved a great twist-out. And guess what: she had to blow her hair first using heat! All naturals are not equal and this is so important and obvious that I'm wondering why this topic is never dicussed or always skipped

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  56. I tried transition twice and for me it is too hard to maintain. With my schedule and other life changing things it was hard to maintain. Will I try it again Yes, maybe in my 40s or 50s. Right now I like my relaxed hair I only relax 2 maybe 3 times a year. I refuse to allow the pressure of others to change my mind about what I walk around with on my head. I feel everyone can't do the natural thing and vice versa with relax. Do WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND RIGHT NOW ITS THE CREAMY CRACK

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  57. i was relaxed, then i tried natural hair (4c) and went back to texlaxed hair. my hair is chemically processed because as a single mother of 2 toddlers, i don't have the time to spend 45mins detangling and 1-2hrs washing, conditioning every week, 30mins in the morning styling, 30mins at night for bed prep

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  58. I texlax my hair and I do feel the pressure to go natural all the time. It seems that the relaxed/texlaxed/chemically-treated population is getting smaller. A larger majority of my life has been natural but I'm somewhat happy with the texlax life so for now, I'm staying texlaxed

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  59. I am the last female in my family and group of friends who is still relaxed. They ask all the time why dont I do a long term transition but I am almost TBL and dont want to start over, . I live in ohio and while places like sallys have decreased their relaxed section. Beauty supply stores still have the same amount of relaxers in stock. I have also noticed that there seems to be a slow transition of people who decided to transition but then decide to go back to relaxers. I like my relaxed hair and make a commitment to taking care of it on a daily basis. All of my natural friends and relatives always send me information on caring for natural hair which I love because of some of their ideas work on my texlaxed hair. Others love to tell me over and over again that in the long run all my hair is going to fall out. I love natural and relaxed hair, one day I might transition who knows but ultimately its my decision. People can look at me sideways all they want. I just say you do you.

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  60. I'm relaxed and I thought about it but that's just it I thought about it I'm ok with bein relaxed and I have learned how to take better care of it so for right now im satisfied


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  61. I'm still natural, and unless some catastrophe occurs, I will remain that way. With my extreme tight hair texture and extreme sensitive scalp I cannot comb my natural texture. If I was in Africa I would've been one of those bald women.

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  62. I'm relaxed but I was a natural. It's just like with anything else...it's newer but it's not new. I think that people should do what they want with their hair as long as it's healthy. If going natural is your thing then hey...good for you. If staying relaxed is your thing...my response is the same. I don't feel pressured to wear my hair a certain way at all. If I like a style, I try it but like I say and many others have said...EVERYTHING is not for everyone.

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  63. I'm still relaxed! Being relaxed makes me relax lol. I've thought about it many times but I'll pass. What I have done honestly is cut back on how often I relax my hair. My last relaxer was December 20,2013. I want to cut down to 2-3 relaxers a year. My hair type is 4c-4d and my current length is bsl my goal is waist length. A white lady at my job said to me, no offense but i didn't know that black people hair could grow that long. I will make her a sho nuff believer. Just wait and see. #teamrelaxed funny though I have one daughter that's natural and one daughter that's relaxed. Thanks for posting the question sunshyne!

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  64. I am natural and loving it, but it takes a lot of work to do my hair, my hair is stronger break less than when I was relaxed. I love big hair my hair crush is Demetria from (blood heels and sweat) I love all hair types and style, except the extra blond weave on a black ladies, it looks trashy.

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  65. I totally agree. There are not many sites that still have information for relaxed ladies. I did at one time try going natural but my hair suffered. Anytime I do a search on a new product, I end up with so many sites that focus on natural and transitioning ladies. I, for one, am not planning on going natural any time soon.

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  66. I've notice all my friends and family has turned natural but I really believe its because they believe that their hair will grow faster and longer if they went natural. it's sad, but I'm proving them that relaxed hair can grow long as long as you take care of it. I used to keep my hair straight like them until I learned better. lol I guess it takes motivation and guidance.

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  67. I think alot of ppl r doing it for different reasons but I don't feel pressure to go either way to do either I try almost going natural but my own feeling I love both but I decided to do texlax instead so I can kinda do both

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  68. I'm relaxed and darn proud of it! What really makes me happy is that Black women are displaying the different versions of beauty that exist, with natural and relaxed hair.

    What makes me unhappy, however, is the division that's been created between women who are relaxed versus women who are natural. There's a superiority complex that's emerged, and it's quite disturbing. As a relaxed individual, I'm quite tired of hearing some natural hair supporters question a woman's "blackness" and her relationship with God because she chooses to relax her hair. Just as some of us relaxed ladies have felt pressure to go natural, I've also noticed that you can't go out in public and express your true feelings about hair without risking a character attack. There are some people who just don't like natural hair - and that's ok. But if they dare express that outside of forums like this one, they could potentially be eaten alive.

    My choice to relax my hair is ONLY about preference and manageability. I relax my oldest daughter hair; but I make sure to teach her about the beauty of relaxed and natural hair, and will support her in her hair journey regardless if she remains relaxed or switches to natural. I don't have any plans to convert to natural - not because I think something is wrong with it, but because I'm just not interested.

    I'm really encouraged by websites & blogs like this one. I really love the care and effort that's put into teaching about healthy relaxed hair. It can be and has been achieved; that message alone is invaluable. :)

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  69. I've always loved relaxed hair. When my crown started to cease to exist and some of my hair on the sides, it started as a stretch just to give my hair a break. I had never planned to transition. I think the relaxer I used was either a bad batch or the ingredients had changed and I had no choice but to stop with chemicals for a while. When I noticed that my hair could actually get much thicker than it was , and stay healthy as it grew out. I said I would stretch until I couldn't anymore. Well, it's been almost 1 year and 11 months and I haven't relaxed but I prefer my hair straight so I can wear my big curls. If I find I no longer want to continue stretching, then I will end it, because it's my choice. I already had one person tell me on my youtube channel that if I stopped they would unsubscribe. I had to explain to them that it wasn't their choice but mine. Don't get me wrong I think both relaxed and natural hair is beautiful. I just feel that what ever a person wants to do is their choice, even if it means switching back and forth if they choose.

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About Me

About [span]me[/span]

Hi, I'm Val aka Sunshyne!
I’m the owner of Hairlicious Inc. and Hairlista.com. Thank you for visiting.

For years I struggled to understand my relaxed hair. I created this blog to track my journey, set backs and progress!

Sit back and stay a while! Let’s achieve healthier hair together.

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