Let's Chat: Is Your Hair Changing People's Initial Perceptions?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Just the other day, I was at my Aunt's House dropping off my mother. I was wearing my hair down with a simple headband. My Aunt then stops me to ask

Aunty: "Is that all yours?"
Me: "You mean my hair?"
Aunty: "Yes!"
Me: "Of course, this is all me!..LOL"
Aunty: "Oh from when you were little, I never expected your hair to be so long..WOW...blah blah blah" *I kinda tuned out after a while*
My mother told me on numerous occasions that my Aunt never had high hopes for my hair because it was always dry, coarse, rough and short as a child. She always thought my sister would have longer hair since it was much softer & "cooperative", similar to my mother's hair.

So, my question to you is..

Have you changed other people's minds about your hair thus far into your hair journey?
Have you proved the hair haters wrong?

Let me know...I know I did with my aunt and it feels GOOD..LOL.

Plus..I'm not done yet =]


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  1. Good for you!!!!......See, this is why I am a follower because you truly are an inspiration....You beat out all the stereotypes that say that "Black" women with darker skin and course hair who never had long hair as a child can still have long hair with a little TLC...I just luv it...keep doing what you are doing girl 'cause it's working!!! I can't wait to see you next hair update :-)

  2. @ Joy - Thank you so much Joy for your wonderful words. I'm very honored to be considered an inspiration. Just a little TLC is all we need..very true indeed =]

  3. Yep, I will send them a progress pic everynow and then and they will say all that work is not in vain and they want tips. Or when I go to visit my family every wants to know if "that's all my hair", but they don't ask me directly i can hear them talking from a distance.

  4. I am sooo glad you are writing about this, I am just beginning my HHJ as of yesterday, and I tell you... my hair was terrible as a youngster, I really see no hope in my hair going past ear length.

    I mean, no one in my family has hair past their neck, and I just thought its a family trait.

    After finding out about this site I now want to challenge peoples thoughts on my hair. And just go at it. I plan to go natural next year, but with my hair relaxed I hope to learn a bit or two(okay a LOT) about how to just deal with overly dry hair.

    I dont thank you enough (And PLEASE don't make us ever have to pay!)

  5. Girl I know exactly where your comming from! I was the girl when I was younger that would live in braids (extenstion braids) and afro puffs. I was the one people say I had no hair or blah blah and nappy headed because my hair was chin length or collar bone length. Because Some of my cousins hair arm pit length hair and they were a year younger than me, their hair would "swang" but they had a perm. I didn't at that time. I used to go in and out with perms when I was younger. When people would make fun of my hair it used to hurt me. Especially from the one's I loved saying negative things. almost 2 year's ago I got onto hair care on youtube and decided that I want to take care of my hair and LOVE IT! I used to hide my real hair in braids as I got older too. Now I'm out and free and love it.I get some sew ins from time to time, and rock wigs but I get "hair sick" and miss my hair if I keep extensions in too long. lol Its so funny how I used to hate it, now I really love it. I used to think my hair was ugly, and now its beautiful wooly hair to me. I love hairlista, its helped me so much, may 2008 I joined and I'm still going strong on your site.

  6. I have always had BSL hair growing up so most of my friends and family are not Surprise that my hair is growing long now. I just hate when they say things like that's because your hair is not coarse and rough like our hair that's why it grows so long. Well i tell them time and time again that i have 4b hair the same hair type they have i just take care of my hair different.

  7. My hair has always been long, but because my mother didn't really know how to properly care for my hair, it broke off until I had to cut it. I knew then that I had to learn to take care of my own hair, and I have done so ever since. Most of my friends and family know that I am a hair fanatic..I am almost known by my hair..

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  9. Girl yes!!!! I feel you. Especially after I've hid my hair for a couple weeks. Even with my braid out's they still can't really see it. Then when I relax and people see it down for a couple a days it's always "Dannng, girl, look how long your hair is. It looks like a weave!" But I'm sayin' tho' why it gotta be a weave? Why can't it just be my hair? Anyway, I continue to stump people because I do my own hair and they can't believe how healthy it is, without the salon. Yes, I must say, their disbelief give me a big ol' cheesy Kool-aid smile!

  10. My dad despises weave and absolutely hates when I wear it and just the other day I went back home to visit and I had my hair down and he said, " Ughhh I hate when you wear weave!" My brother thought it was weave too and had the nerve to pull my hair just to make sure it wasn't. I wanted to slap him but I was happy that my hair was getting so long and pretty that they thought it was weave! In all honesty it made my day!!! =D

  11. I know exactly what u mean I hadnt seen my sister in a while and she actually pulled my hair in disbelief after I told her this was all my hair she then told me she had to pull it to make sure I got do mad

  12. good for you! i know it must feel good! and joy is right u are an inspiration! I remember my mother telling me to just go to the salon when i started my journey. And my friend would never listen to my advice about hair. I decided to let it go and keep my mouth shut. 6 months later..my mom says she wants me to help her with hers..and my friend is calling me for emergency solutions to her hair! it is amazing the turn around! and i'm not even at my goal length yet. its just amazing.

  13. i have been excited about my hair. my family hasn't. they have seen my tshirt from the challenge and is constantly telling me that my hair won't get that long and my hair has been WL before. family can cruel. my hair has always been think and is getting thicker. the fam is constantly asking me now is that my hair. i can't wait until i get some down my back. i keep getting these smart comments that i am doing too much to my hair. sadly i have been listening and actually is letting some of my products go. my goal overall is to grow long hair with inexpensive products. other than Hairlista, i have no motivation. i am trying to keep the hope alive, but sadly hope is fading.

  14. I feel you sunshyne, when I did my big chop and I was trying to find products to make my curls more defined, my MOTHER told me basically to give it up cuz I don't have the kind of hair that curls and if I wanted curly hair, I should just get a texturizer. But through research, I found the best products to define my curls, and now she is so proud of my hair telling everybody that all I need i gel and water for my hair to curl. I'm glad she came around, but I hate that she behave like that.

  15. I am glad you posted this. i just went in to get a relaxer after 10 wks post(used to get 6 wks on the dot) and have experienced really bad breakage at the nape of my neck for the last 2 1/2 years. so i have started being proactive in my hair care and i actually had enough hair at the nape to roll on a twist rod. one of the the stylist commented you need to start coming so it can continue to grow and I said well "when I was coming regular I had no hair back there and since I have stop coming regularly I now have hair growing, so obviously I am doing something correct" The audacity of her to make that comment but I am glad that I found Hairlista and am enjoying this journey

  16. I cant tell you how much i appreciated running across your page on youtube. I love, love, love how you promote "Healthy Hair" More people need to understand that - and as far as the question ... I have the opposite kind of issue. I have always had the so called "easy to do" hair, it grows well, and as one commenter put it "..it swangs" and its very soft. By choice, I keep it around ear length, I have a baby and its easier for me at this length. But for my family this is a SIN, I.AM.SICK. of hearing about why do i keep cutting my hair, and how i have that "white folks" hair. I have cousins who will call me and ask about what products I use and if i get relaxers and wanting to know exactly what I do, I say that half is genetics and the rest, which is most important, is having a healthy hair routine. Does it sound strange to hate, no not hate, but to dislike strongly when family members, in particular, my nana, comments about how "beautiful" my particular type of hair is as oppose to my other cousins who have a differnt type of hair? She makes me feel like its expected of me to have Long Hair. Seriously, it drives me crazy. Its only hair, I. AM. NOT. MY. HAIR.

  17. YES!

    when I told my mama i was going natural, she was like "what?!.. no.. blah blah blah"

    now that she sees the results... she's like, "you think your hair curly don't you? you think you got waves."

    like, she's so into "good hair," that its ridiculous to me.

    and if im trying new products or something, like the other day, my sister put my hair in a bun for me and i said "i don't put gel in my hair." i'm seen as "being different" or something.. its like a personal attack on what she does to her own hair. i really don't get it.

  18. Hi Sunshyne,

    Your hair looks awesome - I am so proud of you and your hair progress - Let the haters continue to talk - they haven't seen the best of your hair yet :-) By the way I live in Toronto and would like to know where you get your hair relaxed because I have been self textlaxing and would love get my hair done professionally - thanks!

  19. yes. this actually happened 2 weeks ago. I went to see my grandma, my cousins were over her house too. so we're all just sitting & talking & I saw her staring, so I looked at her & smiled. then she walked over to me & said is that yours? & I said yes ... then she said it looks like a wig & started giggling. (I had my hair pulled up into a top puff ponytail) & I said no ... it's all mine, touch it. so she touched it, then she said ohhhhhh it's so cute! & then she started asking me what products I used. she is the type that's into hair & weight. like, too much. every time I see her she says something about my hair & weight, whether it's good or bad, I'll hear it from her whenever I see her.

  20. i tend to wear my hair "nappy" when in reality its healthy. my ends arent breaking off and its moisturized. i live in madison,wi and for some reason the black people hear feel if u dont follow the stereotype you are shunned from the black community. so people assume i act like a white girl and black guys think im easy to use and treat like crap. of course its fun proving them wrong but its still irritating. i prefer messy "nappy" updos to sticky greasy flat ironed hair that doesnt move any day!

  21. grl ppl treat me the same way.. since im now on my hair journey.. alot of ppl.. including family members are like.. girl y u wasting all this money all the time on hair products when u can but more "important stuff".. those things cant help us.. u no we hopeless.. and no what, all those negative comments are jus making me stronger because when they say that it just wants me to prove to them more and more that i CAN do it and that our hair Can grow past shoulder length.. plus no sence stressin, grl.. worry affects our hair so u no..we gotta b thinkin all positive.. ;)lol.. HHG divas.. *kisses*


About Me

About [span]me[/span]

Hi, I'm Val aka Sunshyne!
I’m the owner of Hairlicious Inc. and Hairlista.com. Thank you for visiting.

For years I struggled to understand my relaxed hair. I created this blog to track my journey, set backs and progress!

Sit back and stay a while! Let’s achieve healthier hair together.

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