Let's Chat: Still Haven't Mastered A Certain Area In Your Hair Journey?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Honestly, sometimes I feel like the character in this photo!! LOL

I've been on my journey for almost 3 years now and I still haven't mastered Bantu Knots..OMGosh I feel to scream! Someone help me. No matter which method I do or video tutorial I watch, it doesn't work for me.

Every time I try, I expect a better results but in the end, it looks horrific! I mean the curls are not defined, uniform, and they drop within a few hours SMH.

The fact that I'm this far in my journey makes me feel like this is something that should come natural by now, but it hasn't. I love braid outs and I believe I can do that style well, but I want to be versatile and opt for a different look other than the usual buns, braid outs or my lace front.


Is there an area in your hair journey/regimen that you STILL haven't mastered? Have you done everything to change the result? It could be relaxers, buns, protective styling, keeping your hair moist, balancing protein & moisture, breakage, shedding etc.

Let's share our frustrated, agitated, and annoyed experiences :-)


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  1. I haven't figured out the whole protein/moisture balance thing. I have read all the descriptions in the world (or so I feel) and still can never figure out whether I am balanced or whether I lack moisure/protein or whether my hair is over loaded with either of the two. Ain't that a trip?

  2. OMGOSH!! I have not accomplished bantu knots either. I see all these amazing videos, and I go to bed very happy thinking it will come out cute. I wake up and my dad asks "what happened to your hair?" I could've cried! lol. And right now I'm searching your site for something about pre-pooing so I can do that. I'm all about my hair journey!


  3. I haven't figured out my breakage yet. My hair grows, but I still get breakage everyday. My next step is to try the black tea rinse. Oh, I did find out that what I thought my stylist was putting a lye perm, she's been using no-lye because I have sensitive scalp. Maybe that's it. Any tips for switching back to lye that I should know?

  4. OMG!!! I was JUST thinkin to myself how bad I wanna learn how to bantu knot out! It always Fails no matter how hard I try!! I can do everything else But that

  5. definitely airdrying with my hair out, i never like results, but i'm still experimenting......i'm determined to master it!!!

  6. I feel the same way about my hair breakage. I try to not use heat, over process my hair, I deep condition and give my hair special treatments like crazy but yet my hair is still breaking like it did before I even started my hair journey and it sucks! idk what to do about it anymore. It's like the only way it can stop breaking off is if i cut all of my hair and start anew but I'm definitely not planning on doing that at all.

  7. My problem is still breakage. The majority of my breakage is coming from my ends. I had very thin and damaged ends that I should have cut off since starting my hair journey 8 months ago. So I finally cut them off, but I'm still experiencing some breakage. It's ridiculous. I've tried everything, but to no avail. On the contrary, the rest of my hair has thickened up and is very healthy. I did a strand test the other day, and I have pretty much perfect elasticity. So I don't understand the breakage I'm getting. I'm otherwise gentle with my hair, I hook it up with all kinds of treatments and conditioning. Well, I'm going to stay consistent with my regimen and hope that eventually the breakage will go away.

  8. Yes. Fingercoils. They look a hot mess on me.

  9. I've been on my journey for 2 years and still have problems bantu knots, braidouts (I'm not a good braider), roller sets, etc. It's been hit and miss, mostly miss. When they come out right they look great when the don't it HAM. I'm still learning to self-relax. Ugh, it's so frustrating sometimes and often feel like giving up. - jmason

  10. Rollersetting. I just can't get that trash to work right all of the time. I think I got good results like twice. Curling my hair with a flat iron is hard for me too. Flat ironing in general to be honest.

  11. Whew.. *sigh of relief*.. I'm glad to see that I'm not alone! 1 year and counting and I have yet to master a half-way decent braidout! Another issue I have: TRANSITIONING! For the life of me I can't get my hair to look or act right. My hair will look cute for all of 15 minutes and then like a frizzy moptop. UGH!! I just end up throwing it in a bun and keep it movin'..

  12. Detangling in the shower while co-washing no matter what I use or how hard the water is beaming i still get tangles while trying to comb out tangles in the shower, only time it works great is the first 4 weeks after a new relaxer!

  13. I can't do braidout, twistout, bantu knots or flat twist. I do not get any curls what so ever when I do bantu knots. Don't know what to do either♥


  14. well for me its a lil of protein an moisture, detangling, and airdry a lil sometimes. im also tired of no growth i mean the health i pretty much think is there.

  15. I know exactly how you feel lol but my problem is roller setting...Even before beginning this hair journey I had made many attempts at roller setting my hair. Of course each and every single time it would be a horrendous experience lol. I mean it took me like an hour to finally get the rollers on my head and they never came out right. I would have these pieces of hair sticking out of the rollers and a lot of them would be limp even if I had 2-3 pins in them! I thought there was still hope for me after I found Hairlista and learned how to properly put rollers in my hair. I watched hours and hours of videos on here and Youtube and felt more confident that I would finally get it right...NOT!!! LOL...Time after time my efforts failed and I finally came to the conclusion that roller setting my hair myself was not for me. I absolutely hate the whole process and I refuse to attempt it again...If I want my hair roller set I go to my mom's and have my sister do it or I go to a salon and call it a day lol. Trying to do it myself only leaves me frustrated and with less hair on my head than when I started (yes i actually broke off the crown of my head trying to roller set uuuggghh). So I leave this one hair technique to all the ladies who have mastered it and say koodos to you all because I certainly cant do it :)

  16. Sounds like alot of us are having the same problems. I've been on my journey for little over a year. And while I have alot of growth I still have problems with breakage and air drying. My bantu knots usually turn out good but don't last more then one day, I have to re-knot the second night if I want to keep the look.

  17. I have troubles with Bantu Knots, braidouts & Rollersetting and spent months trying to get it right. I stumpled upon Curlformers and their great for getting defined curls and it's super easy to use. I do still however have trouble with breakage and stretching past 8 weeks of stretching my relaxer it's so frustrating.

  18. I have troubles with Bantu Knots, braidouts & Rollersetting and spent months trying to get it right. I stumpled upon Curlformers and their great for getting defined curls and it's super easy to use. I do still however have trouble with breakage and stretching past 8 weeks of stretching my relaxer it's so frustrating.

  19. I have trouble with hair shedding, I have tried everything: garlic, ACV rinses, you name it. My next attempt will be aloe vera juice.

  20. to anonymous right above me...i used aloe vera juice and im not gonna lie, im bad at keeping things going. so i used it probs 5 times, 3 days in a row..and it got rid of ALL MY DANDRUFF!! i dont know how well it did on my breakage/shedding. I still get breakage/shedding when I m&s but not a lot of hair. but yes, the aloe vera is great for dandruff, but I should use it more often.

  21. For me my problem areas are my edges!! They'll grow then break off, then grow then break off!! It's a vicious cycle!! Another problem is keeping my hair moisturized! I'm in the pursuit of finding my moisturizer. I've tried just about everything and nothing has given me the amazing results that I love!! Also finding a good sulfate shampoo and conditioner that works with my hair!!

  22. I can do Bantu Knots but they do fall by the end of the day and have to be re-knotted. Braid Outs are my source of pain. I've watched many videos but my hair either comes out frizzy or a hot mess. I can't wait for my next vacation so I can practice.

  23. I don't know if this would help, but I kind of stumbled intobantu knots accidentally and it came out great. I left it in for a day (I was in Tanzania Ina small village and no one was judging me lol). But before making the knot, I twisted the hair. This was something I would do during group meetings when I was bored and trying to distract myself. I noticed I really like the way the curls came out and did it to my whole head.

    Back to the subject though. I still don't really understand the protein and moisture balance of my hair. I just do a protein treatment when I realize it's been a while. Kind of like when I poo when I realize there's lots of products in my hair.

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  25. I'm in line too: Bantu Knots. why so simple but i just cannot do those, i end up with tired arms, thats it. i don't even keep them in. i will continue to try and continue to watch the videos and one day something will CLICK. lol anyway, its so, so, good to know their are others out their in hair journey world that share this 'have not done to our liking' yet hairdo! lol

  26. Ok here goes mines: Air Drying/Scarf Method...

    For the life of me, can not figure out what is so hard about something so simple...Is it the smoothing that you're suppose to do every so often? Which I can't get into, playing in wet hair- I don't get why that is so important or is it? The final results are supposed to be smooth/flat hair! Yeah right-a big fat rough/bush....WhoWho

  27. Wow I'm so shocked to see that I am not the only one going through this. Very interesting. I don't feel so alone now..LOL

    @ Kobz - Honestly, thats probably one of the hardest things you'll have to go through in your journey. You will understand it though. It just takes time. Do the strand test to see what your hair needs. It's on Hairlista.com if you need further assistance

    @ Angelica - Girl, you and me both! I will not give up on trying though neither should you :-)

    @ cece - No tips needed to make the switch, just simply switch. You'll notice that your hair will retain moisture better. I've only used Lye relaxers. It should help with the breakage issues.

    @ Amber - LOL. I feel you. I don't know why it's so hard? Beats me..lol

    @ Whassichic - That's the spirit!! Remember to use a creamy leave-in, perhaps you can seal too, and keep smoothing your hair out with your hands while it's drying to help it lay flat.

    @ CrystallyzeD - Your hair could be over-processed. If you relax often and you don't protect your previously relaxed hair this can cause breakage. Are you using both moisture and protein conditioners in your regimen? make sure there is a balance.

    @ Christine - You need to do a strand test, your hair is either lacking moisture and it's over moisturized and it needs strength. Do a coconut oil treatment and see if that helps. You can do it as a prepoo on dry hair overnight, wash it out in the AM and DC after with moisture. Hope that helps.

    @ Manecoarse - Finger coils, that's a tough one. Don't give up!!

    @ Anonymous/Jmason - Don't you give up! Keep at it. Check out the braid out tutorial from Bronzeg on my blog. I copied it to a "t" and it came out just like hers. Try it, you never know ;-)

    @ Anonymous #2 - Yes roller setting is a hard one. flat ironing is not so bad. I think it depends on the iron too. Once I switched irons I had no problems with my flat iron results.

    @ Anonymous #3 - Trust me you are not the only one..lol. Look into the bronzeg method of braid outs. It comes out big and defined. I love it. As for transitioning, that will take time to master certain styles. Make sure your hair will well moisturized to prevent frizz.

    @ Anonymous #4 - I guess it depends on the conditioner you use too. If it lacks slip then chances are your comb will barely go through. Use a slippy conditioner i.e. one with some silicones.

  28. @ Jessica - Let's master it together girl. I don't get curls either and if I do, they drop real fast!

    @ Anonymous - It does take time. You'll get it all under control soon. Just spend some time on 1 area. Start with moisture/protein balance first because this will help you retain length.

    @ Jay Maison - I totally understand where you are coming from. I discovered that very early in my journey that roller setting at home was just not for me. I don't have the patience for it. I'll go to the salon for that. Thanks for sharing!!

    @ Chelle - That's great to hear! Luck you.

    @ Anonymous/Paula - Make sure you do a strand test on your broken hairs to see whether or not you are in need of moisture or protein. Also, check out my blog post on stretching your relaxer.

    @ Anonymous - Try the Aloe vera juice spritz in your scalp, it should help with shedding. Do this 2-3 times per week.

    @ Angelica - Lovely testimony!! Thank you for sharing.

    @ Mrs Harris - Do you put tension on your edges? Massage them with JBCO or coconut oil nightly. Keep them moist at all times. It's all about trial and error when it comes to finding a moisturizer. Remember you can always make your own :-)

    @ Anonymous - To prevent the frizz, make sure your hair is well moisturized and it's completely dry before unraveling them or else it will frizz.

    @ S. Anderson - Protein/moisture balance is a tough one but once you get it (and you will) it's a breeze. If your hair is relaxed, you should use some form of protein once a week for strength.

    @ LadyI - LOL. I feel the same way!! It will click one day, I have faith just like you.

    @ Anonymous - Yes this seems to be a difficult one. The smoothing is very important as it gives the hair structure to lay straight/flat. Also remember to use a creamy moisturizing leave-in and if anything seal with a natural oil.

  29. SHEDDING AND ROLLERSETTING! no matter what i do i cannot stop shedding. i was literally close to cutting it all off!

    As for rollersetting total chaos.

    But my mum keeps on preaching to me that practice makes perfect. so we will see.

  30. @ Anonymous - Are you sure it's shedding or breakage? Does it have the white bulb at the end? Please make sure.

  31. @Sunshyne: Honestly, that probably is it since my old hairdresser used to always overprocess my hair when I went for only touch ups which is why i no longer go to him anymore. I don't have a protein conditioner but I do the egg protein treatment twice a month at the most. I plan on buying aphogee soon so i can add it to my hair regimen.

  32. I still can't get my ends straight when I airdry. It is not a big deal since I wear other protective styles, but I want desperately to master that technique. Should I put some type of no frizz on the ends? I need help....LOL

  33. Hello ladies as for as bantu knots go I find that if my hair is to damp I get poodle curls in which case I start to pin them up on top of my head and it looks like a curly up do. When my hair is not as damp and I leave them in for a short time they hang down my back so maybe its just a matter of finding your curling point. I like to use about 4-7 knots total. Try 4knots per quad. for a softer curl and just go from there good luck.

  34. Twists outs are impossible on my relaxed hair. My braid outs are totally good. I don't even think about trying a Bantu knot.


About Me

About [span]me[/span]

Hi, I'm Val aka Sunshyne!
I’m the owner of Hairlicious Inc. and Hairlista.com. Thank you for visiting.

For years I struggled to understand my relaxed hair. I created this blog to track my journey, set backs and progress!

Sit back and stay a while! Let’s achieve healthier hair together.

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